Whining

This post is intended purely to spread the word about how irritable I am right now. I've been up since 5:21 am Hawaiian time (8:21 am PST) yesterday. I went shopping with my mother, which is similar to running a marathon backwards, blindfolded, twice; I packed, unpacked, then packed again. I stood in line for forty minutes at American Airlines check in, only to be cut in front of by an unsuspecting Christian surfer there from Chicago for a wedding. I stood in line with four hundred other people to pass through airport security. I sat next to a squirming pregnant lady and her overly-attentive husband (okay, fine, I admit... they were really cute) on a sixty degree five hour plane ride. My plane got lost in the fog, making us land late, instead of early like we usually do. I barely made it to my doctor appointment on time. I came home to discover that my dog, who hasn't chewed shoes in years, ate my favourite pair of stilettos while I was gone (just the same... I'm giving up heels, anyway). And I've been lying on my couch for five hours now, trying desperately to sleep. The sweet bonfire I was looking forward to tonight might be canceled, one of my friends is really upset with me and it's breaking my heart, one of my friends is leaving for a year soon and I'll barely get to see her before she leaves, my best friend is out of the state on her birthday, and I received some unexpected, interesting (in a not-cool way) news about an hour ago. I need to shower because I smell like gross LA air and gross American Airlines airplane. I have a pounding headache. And I'm no longer in Hawaii.

Welcome back to real life, self. This is what you asked for.